Hey, You
(or, So You Want To Talk About Art & Politics)
Wall text series and catalogue essay for the exhibition THE POLITICS OF ART, Linden Gallery, Melbourne,
2010
Did you really think Warhol died of AIDS, or do you think the whole universe is gay?
Is that a gaggle of 90s political women artists I see behind you?
Is that an opera based on a Peter Carey novel, or am I living in a cultural wasteland?
If every nano-second of ABC transmission suddenly vanished, would it matter?
Are you still with your sensitive loser boyfriend?
Why do you keep telling me your penis is so small?
Do you think finding sex through the internet is horrid, or are you just gutless?
Have you really found joy in listening to Bjork?
I know you’re on medication, but do you still think high and low culture exists?
Is it because your uncle was at Changi that you can’t understand post-war Japan?
If I come while watching a Harry Potter movie, is it the movie’s fault or mine?
If every single person working in the Australian film industry became unemployed, would you shed a tear?
While your son is doing his kibbutz do you still criticise China’s relation to Taiwan?
If a political journalist dies in a ‘hot spot’, what do they do with his semen?
If Steve Vizard was in jail with you, would you fuck him?
Are you going to quote Italo Calvino to me yet again?
If you think professionalism is important in the arts, why do you wear the clothes you do?
I sucked Anselm Keiffer’s dick once – do you want to see a picture of it?
How could I not like Priscilla, Queen Of the Desert?
If you think brutal noise is radical, does that mean you still haven’t cleaned up your bedroom?
Are you going to the hairdresser or just to see a Wong Kar Wai movie?
How’s your IVF programme going – or is that an insensitive question?
So what private school will your daughter go to, and will it make a difference?
Is it fun being dumb, or does Peter Greenway make it even better for you?
Do you think the media is ‘powerful’, or is that your Don Quixote complex showing?
As an actress, do your tits have a moral issue with being filmed?
Did you just use the word ‘beautiful’ or did you just fart?
Am I part of your problem, or part of my solution?
Did I ask you anything about your boring cultural identity?
If literature is so important, how come your life is so insignificant?
Is that a winery you just visited or were you researching indigenous land rights?
Does that custom ring tone on your phone make you feel extra-special?
Are they your ethics or just your haemorrhoids?
Do you understand nihilism or am I talking to dead air?
Is the democracy of the internet a sick joke or a tragic affair?
If you’re a politically-aware comedian, can I rip out your tongue for a laugh?
Is that your carbon footprint or is my foot stuck up your arse?
If the journey is so important to you, why the fuck are you still here?
If your children like dinosaurs, does that mean you’re already dead?
Does it feel good to be ‘making a change’ even though you’re not?
Is that opera on your soundtrack or have you always been aesthetically retarded?
Is it because you’re so mature that you’re so dumb?
Did the 60s happen here or on some fictional planet?
If you’re a speech writer for a famous politician, is he talking through his arse or yours?
Is maths important or can I loose count when I repeatedly stab you?
Will art save the world, or just re-upholster your lounge suite?
Have you been breeding recently or is that humanism I can smell?
Am I having your cake and eating you too?
Are you God-fearing, or is it only the boogie man that spooks you?
If rape is so bad, what are you going to do about it?
If Australia is so good, what did you have to do with it?
Can you tell if there’s a difference between Bill Henson and Anne Geddes?
If you’re a journalist, can you read my lips, moron?
If you’re an economist reading this, could someone please kill me now?
Is Philip Adams still alive, or am I just dreaming he isn’t?
Is that shit I smell in your hair or have you been in a political think tank recently?
Is that Nick Cave on the cover of your magazine, or are you just another Baudelairian loser?
Are you on a hero’s journey or do you always look like an old ugly Greek?
Did you ever get that life?
Is this more bad postmodern rhetoric, or does Philip Brophy mean every single word you just read?
Philip Brophy -
Paris, February 19th 2010 (between 3.12pm and 3.27pm)
